You have moved into a dark space.
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
>leave webpage
I don’t understand the word “webpage.”
>go back
You can’t go in that direction.
>go back to google
You can’t do that to a google.
>please
What do you want to please?
> please god
God hears your plea. But he is busy around the globe fighting evil. Like in the former Soviet republic of Georgia, making sure kitties don’t get caught in the crossfire.
>close window
There isn’t a window here!
>exit firefox
You must tell me how to do that to a firefox!
>restart
Restart again? What’s the matter with you? You’ve restarted this DT Log like a gazillion times before. Why don’t you commit to something and do it? The residents of middle Minnesota would likely welcome another plumber to their ranks. How about daycare management? Biodiesel conversion engineer?
>quit
That’s what you always do. QUIT! When the going gets tough, you stop what you’re doing and hide in the back bathroom with the lights out. You should QUIT WRITING! You’re not very good at it You can’t even finish Timebox!
>cry
Boohoo! Boohoo!
>wait
Time passes… jeez, did you forget you could just type “z” and save three keystrokes?
>z
Time passes… like your youth, into the great nothing of past accomplishments, which there are none.
>z
Time passes… you really want to be eaten by a grue, don’t you?
>z
Time passes… okay, grues don’t really exist, but bacteria does! And it’s ALL OVER YOU ALL OF THE TIME!
>z
Time passes… you’re really going to post this, aren’t you. Do you really want to start off a new blog by being so uncool as to reference Zork?
>hello sailor
Hey! You’re not in California anymore! Stuff like that can get you beat up here in the Midwest. Thank God you’re not in Texas (anymore).
> light candle, open book to page 13, ring bell
You can now see.
A vast world has opened up to you. But like in Zork I, it is hell.
The prevailing wind blows out your candle, leaving you in darkness once again.
You have been eaten by a grue.
